Once again I was tempted to write a piece on yet another wanton murder because it happened near to home and was somebody my daughter knew.

I worry every time she goes out of the door and hope as many others do that it will not be my child,

nor my grief that colours the front page until the next murder.

The number of teenagers murdered in London this year reached 27 - higher than the total for the whole of 2007 with three months of the year remaining.

Apparently, according to The Times- Scotland Yard is now braced for the death toll to exceed 30, more than double the figure five years ago.

They make it sound like a weather forecast or natural phenomenon

The latest victim was Craig Marshall, 19, from Acton, West London, who was stabbed in what locals said was an argument over payment for a drug deal.

Craig stumbled 50 yards from where he was attacked outside a tower block into Acton police station at around 11pm on Thursday night. He was taken to hospital by ambulance, but despite emergency surgery died at 8am the next morning.

Police have arrested two suspects, aged 20 and 21.

They had the argument after the boy came to the door. When he rang the entry phone the others, the ones who have been arrested, came down and that’s when it happened.

“The boy said to them to give him the £20, but they said they didn’t want to give it to him and told him ‘What do you want to do about it?’ The police took the whole family into the van after the stabbing.”

A friend of the dead youth  said: “All this happened over weed. It’s pathetic. They wanted some weed and it was a bit under the required amount and they just stabbed him. He wasn’t a bad guy. It’s just stupid.

“Craig was a really good person. He had just finished a painting and decorating apprenticeship, he wasn’t a troublemaker.”

Gary Jackman, 17, another friend of Craig's, said: “I spoke to his brother this morning and he was just saying that he had been stabbed twice. I think it was in the stomach.

“He was really sunny, he would take everything and make it into a joke. If you were going through something bad, like with a girlfriend, he would advise you what to do.

“The other day he was saying he wanted to go to college and do something with his life and get out of his estate. He wanted to improve his life. I’ve been up all night and I’m just speechless. I just thought, ‘It’s not him, it’s not him’.”

What price a life -

some years ago near to my home an elderly Grandmother and mother of two was pushed to the ground and later died , the perpetrator(s) were never caught-they took nothing.

Senseless violence and the need to harm or maim has no place in society

parents check your children. Don't let them go out with a knife.

Do ask them where they are going who they hang with.

Voice your concerns. this evil can be stopped before it hits the streets

before the street hits you.

the time it takes to read this following toll of misery is less than the time it takes to take care – notice and consider the safety or actions of your own children.

2008 murders( Just London)

January 1: Henry Bolombi, 17, dies from a single stab wound to the chest after being attacked as he walked home in Edmonton, North London, after celebrating New Year

January 5: Faridon Alizada, 18, of Bexley, south-east London, dies from three stab wounds to the chest after being attacked in Verona House, a tower block in Erith

January 21: Boduka Mudianga, 18, known by his middle name Louis, stabbed to death in street brawl in Silver Street, Edmonton

January 26: Fuad Buraleh, 19, of Hayes, Middlesex, dies from head injury inflicted after he got off a bus in Dean Gardens, Uxbridge Road, Ealing

February 19: Sunday Essiet, 15, died from a stab wound. He was attacked after a row between groups of youths in Invermore Place, Woolwich

February 23: Tung Le, 17, of Deptford, south-east London, was attacked during a row outside a nightclub in Cockspur Street. He died from a stab wound

February 29: Ofiyke Nmezu, 16, known as Iyke, of Edmonton, suffered a head injury in an attack with a brick on February 15. He attended hospital two weeks later where he died from a skull fracture

March 13: Michael Jones, 18, dies from severe head injuries and a stab wound to the chest after being attacked by an intruder at his home Stanley Road, Edmonton

March 14: Nicholas Clarke, 19, dies from a gunshot wound to the head after a shooting at the Myatts Field Estate, Brixton

March 27: Devoe Roach, 17, dies after apparently being stabbed in the chest in Stamford Hill, north London

March 27: Amro Elbadawi, 14, of West Kilburn, dies from stab wound after being knifed in Queen's Park, West London

May 3: Lyle Tulloch, 15, from Peckham, south London, is fatally stabbed in a stairway of a block of flats

May 3: Lyle Tulloch, 15, from Peckham, south London, is fatally stabbed in a stairway of a block of flats

May 10: Jimmy Mizen, 16, is attacked with a shard of glass in a bakery in Lee, south east London

May 24: Rob Knox, 18, is stabbed to death in a fight outside the Metro Bar in Station Road, Sidcup

May 28: Sharmaarke Hassan, 17, dies in hospital after being shot in the head in Camden, north London, on May 24

June 2: Arsema Dawit, 15, is stabbed to death in a block of flats near Waterloo station

June 29: Ben Kinsella, 16, dies after he is stabbed in York Way, Islington

July 3: Shakilus Townsend, 16, dies after being stabbed and beaten with a baseball bat in Thorton Heath, south London

July 7: David Idowu, 14, a Southwark schoolboy, dies almost three weeks after being stabbed in an attack

July 10: Melvin Bryan, 18, two charged with his murder in a flat on Gloucester Road, Upper Edmonton

July 17: Freddie Moody, 18, was murdered after a water pistol fight turned violent in Stockwell, South London

August 6: Ryan Bravo, 18, is shot dead outside a supermarket in Walworth, South London. He was mistakenly shot in the back as gunmen targeted two fleeing youths

August 16: Nilanthan Murddi, 17, dies in hospital after being stabbed in the neck in Croydon, South London

August 24: Charles Hendricks, 18, known as CJ, is fatally stabbed near a bus garage in Walthamstow, East London

August 31: Shaquille Smith, 14, dies from a single stab wound to the stomach after he and his sister, 16, are attacked by a gang of youths outside their home in Hackney, East London

September 13: Oliver Kingonzila, 19, semi professional footballer stabbed during a fight outside a nightclub in Croydon

Sometime soon ?

Hopefully your never get that knock at the door

or wonder what the police are doing outside your home

Peace be with you

Before you wonder what am i’m about –please note i know what it feels like to get that knock

in just a few mins  my life and the life of my entire family changed for ever

Our Mother is not on this list she was killed at night in her own bedrom

Late last night around 11:30 pm

I was called to the house of a neighbour

her partner Tony had ran across to me and said

Gloria is in trouble , help me please.

we both ran back to the house.

i immediately checked for signs of life

unfortunately Gloria was already cold and peaceful

she had passed on..

i think Tony knew.

i called the authorities as she died at home.

i stayed with him until all the services had been.

And Gloria had been removed.

this was around 02:45

Although i offered him a bed -he declined.

___________________________

Yesterday

Cornwall lost a faithful daughter

a true and loving friend

she remained honest to herself and others

she enriched the lives of all she touched

i say this because it is true and she never knew

that her honesty and forthrightness along with her broad

Cornish accent calmed and befriended all.

She left in peace, in her home and with the man she loved

these passed years.

We now return her  to Avalon.

just before dawn she will arrive- a bright light in the deepest shadow

Long may she live in our hearts.

To anyone that recognises her from my description

please don't mention it to the family- as we haven't located them all

contact me by all means

j

xxx

Gloria Jean - forever in our memories

i am sorry for the delay in posting my latest blog ( see lat blog for details)

here's the but.

i feel so strongly about this- i just had to take time out and write.

Kodjo was stabbed in the heart in March 2007 after being ambushed by a gang, including two girls, armed with knives and bats in Hammersmith, west London.

Like a pack of wild animals these so called teenagers were calling for Kodjo's blood

some were in school uniform when this cowardly act was done.

my own child went to school with these people

one of the girls that was mentioned in the recent news reports calmly sat and watched a police documentary at school yesterday on of all things gun crime.

at one point she slowly closed her eyes for a time.

this is a police initiative to discourage youth and gang culture from carrying weapons.

this same girl was probably crying sometime ago when there was a memorial evening for another young man killed for his new mobile phone (she's a relative).

i attended that evening which was very beautiful and moving and gave some encouragement that these young adults would think first before carrying knives or joining a gang.

was it to no avail-does it not get through-

it is not a movie-when you drop to the floor, and your blood stains the gutter, you will be remembered for what you might of been not for what or who you are you are.

Anther girl who was there that fateful day, but is not a gang member,but a friend of one.

is an excellent student, well thought of at school and so on.

gang members do not have to be mindless, useless members of society

they maybe your sons or daughters.

those of you who knew Kodjo- don’t just go through the motions.

cry,hug,console each other.

later meet up with your crew.

if you keep your mouth shut you condone the actions of every person who was there not only the members of M D P  .

all those hangers on and friends of the gang would you stand by if there was a racial incident would you not speak up would you not tell someone.

you would alienate that person, shun them for the lowlifes that they were.

maybe your not listening.

my own mother was killed by someone we all knew, someone we liked, got on with.

invited in to our hearts and lives.

he came to our house - she was asleep- he carried a knife- he used it.

game over

M.D.P , I'VE SEEN YOU ON THE STREET- THE CHICKEN SHOP WHERE YOU HANG OUT.

everybody sees you

every time a gang causes a death i hope one less person will want to join.

i only hope you don't become a victim or the victims family

parents take interest in your children.

know where they are- care who they are with.

life is for living and loving.

to Kodjo yenga and his family

i grieve for you and your loved ones

i only hope that the sentences these dastardly cowards received will help you

god is the best judge.

love to all

j

xx

Hi my friends,

i am having some serious work done on the hovel.

i have now got a confirmed start date

for my new windows, doors, kitchen

it is now the 12th May- I didn't think they could start this early but!

i have negotiated the other work due to run concurrent

as you can see it does need a little tidying up first

as soon as the new windows have been finished -they will

be tackling the two bathrooms

one of which will then be a walk in shower room and toilet.

the last two jobs are very much needed both the heating system and electrics

will be replaced

i am hoping to have the whole hovel back in use within five weeks

but i will keep you posted.

love to all

i am sorry if i haven’t got around to saying hi to ya all
i have been offline since i was last active yesterday
this is my short
hopefully sweet apology

all my love 2 all I miss

and I will miss you

love

It started off with Princess Leah

Asking ages of the Reaper

Was going to answer in a rhyme

That Grims age out bounds the test of time

This prompted me to write a poem

In my blog it’s proudly showing

But for her and without knowing

My poem came to pass

Thank you for asking

From this an idea was born- never be afraid to ask a question.

I am older than man and younger than the mountains

I am not old, I am not young

I come to be, In the setting of the sun

I am the dark before a storm

The dwindling shadow before the dawn

The darkest depth in your room at night

Something not seen, just out of sight

A glancing glimpse at eye lines bounds

The noise that’s there, where nothing sounds

A dream perhaps- I am not there

Behind a seat, atop the stair

Taps at the window, raising hair

Never gone, I wasn’t there

I am the shade in hazy sun

I am the thought that makes you run

Across the park in deepening night

Towards the safety of street light

I am the breeze that makes you shiver

In your mind I make you quiver

With your friend at night just thinking

Both of you look round –no blinking

Was I there again today?

Or like the fish that got away

Am I a dream or fancy thought?

Or like a hare in headlight caught

Do not despair, be of good cheer

I am not here today I fear

 Not for you have I come

But perhaps for some other mothers son

You cannot run, you cannot hide

Im always somewhere deep inside

A twinge a pang that hungers there

One day sitting in your favourite chair

I’ll speak to you in all good fun

Describing deep of deeds you’ve done

I’ll show your life as a picture book

As with you soul such liberties you took

 With the rising of the moon

I am the whistling of some lost tune

You must go out-

 You may see me soon

Am I not wind, am I not air

Am I not the creaking on the stair?

You do not mind, you do not care

That was nothing on the sill or standing there

It was a whim or daytime fancy

Not the voice of Aunty Nancy

Not the smell of Uncle Jim

Or some long dead relative looking in

But wait awhile hold on a bit

Is this your room, I’ve come to sit?

Did I delay in leaving you?

Is it your turn- life’s toll is due

Just like the roll of coming thunder

From thine body rip asunder

After all is said and done

In your mind I’ve had some fun

Showing you some pastures new

Of past memories happy and blue

Through times circle for you I come

As with the setting of the sun

So come now please, don’t cuss or blunder

We’ll travel out in starry wonder

Drift in the trees and shadows paths

And skip across a waters glass

Where hence we come to darkening depths

Just over this hill and down these steps

You are not mad, you will not tell

This is your mind -your personal hell

She whispered "Will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."

She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore."

It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been a size.

"Calm yourself" he whispered
"His face filled with a grin
"Try and open wider
So I can get it in."

"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I'm having this."

And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.

She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while."

Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!!

Quote

YouTube - Michael Jackson- Thriller
  

I live through my dark existence
only to bask in your beauty
your eyes that shine like sapphires
your smile that brightens even my sad existence
I envy the wind that runs through your hair
that touches your lips
I long to touch you
to hold you in my arms but I cannot
for your heart belongs to another
so, I can only love you from afar
your friendship means more to me
than anything this world provides
but like an angel you touched my heart
in a way that I've never felt before
cause I've never known what love is until this day
I know that we are only friends
but my heart wishes it to be more
so I will still hope and dream
that one day I can feel your lips pressed to mine
to hold you in my arms and say, "I love you"